random blabber

i turn 27 today ....
Has there been any difference in the last year ...well yes it has.... i have got more tolerant of BS.... now i just roll eyes ...shrug my shoulders... some times i wonder if i have become a fatalist....me ...the person who believed that i can change anything in my life by just focusing and working hard....now that ambition had gone...i get more and more restless.....and this inherent guilt and self loathing which comes with the territory.....

i was this stupid .... silly girl who used to celebrate everything in life .... yeaa....my new project...the first time i made palak khichidi..... i lost one more KG!! and now here i am like "ya my bday so what!!" .... i just want to get thru this day .... bcoz its reminding me of the person that i was and i want that to come back ....but after years of doing things bcoz i felt it was right and i was obliged to...and now some newer rules of social behaviour... i think i am finally morphing into one of those mediocre, mundane people who just exist.....

sometimes i feel like i should just stop pretending and shout out what i feel...... i dont want to do this...i WANT to do this.... just shut up...leave me alone....i dont care ... leave me alone..... and you know what makes me really sad...i dont have a reason to feel bad.... i have been lucky i have been blessed with some great things in life ..... so basically it means i have become one of those self pitying fools who go about thinking that the world should revolve around them.....

so anyways i turn a year older... and i have stopped caring !!!